One of the most important gifts you can give yourself is balance. Your balance can fit your goals, your needs, and your personality into a neat package of consistency.
It’s a similar pattern for you. Make the singular commitment. Envision that thing that you want. Once that is established, determine how you will monetize it. It's that simple.
I know it’s painful, but we must deal with your fault in the matter of financial choice behavior. It could be said that you refuse to be consistent, mindful, and proactive. But, there's a solution.
Consumerism is getting as much as you can, canning all you get, and sitting on the can. If you can get more, get that too. You're always overworked and underpaid.