As a life coach trained in social work, it is my job to bring professional assessment that enables consistent progress toward your goals. It is also my personal value that individuals be judged by the content of their character AND how consistently they can articulate a reasonable congruence between behavior and character. In short, I judge people. You should too. The requirement is that you judge them based on criteria that you too are comfortable being judged. The greatest people in my life are PERFECT. That is my criteria, perfection. That also means that it is my criterion for judging me. It should be yours as well. Allow me to list and explain the characteristics of this character.
Perfection is authentic, reasonable, honest, equitable, responsible, discerning, curious, intentional, congruent, and fearless.
Authentic means being you, warts, blisters, and corns as well. What’s in you is what’s in you. It just is. It is your burden forged from experience. It is also your opportunity plucked from life’s furnace. It is your fear heightened by the unknown. It is also you courage sharpened on perseverance. It is your debt, overdue and overwhelming. It is also your gift, to be used to overcome. Rather than self-hatred and attempts to rid yourself of your desires, focus on meeting your needs sustainably.
Reasonable means awakening to the choices you are faced with and knowing that your choice, your action, makes a difference. You can think through the choices and the consequences. You can predict the outcomes and adjust your behavior accordingly.
Honest means owning up to who you are, the choices you have made, and your potential for action. Honesty is never the bravado of a leap without thought. It is an awareness of self and ability that inspires more preparation, a healthy search for knowledge, and the engagement of partnerships.
Equitable means calculating the costs and making decisions that invest energy toward the greatest return on investment. It is also making judgments based on evidence, long-term sustainability, and community impact. Equity is important in efficient use of energy.
Responsible means standing proudly as your choices manifest as outcomes. It is accepting every experience as an opportunity to learn and grow as a member of a community. It is taking the extra precaution, building on solid instruction, and launching confidently with the goal of engaging in process.
Discerning means awareness of your intentions and motives. You see yourself clearly and gain the ability to see others with clarity. You interpret more than just actions and words. You recognize that every action has antecedent. Every word has a cognitive process.
Curious is a desire to know more about people and their interactions with others and their environment. Healthy curiosity supports the search for information, the observation of people, and the exploration of environments.
Intentional means approaching activity with purpose. Nothing is by accident. Additive with clear thinking, ownership, equity, and responsibility, intentionality means confidence and a connection with your motivations.
Congruent means having the same behavior as fits your intentions and thoughts. It is the opposite of hypocrisy. It is not only the appearance of consistency, but it is a holistic synergy between who you are, what you think, and what you do.
Fearless means combining the above traits to challenge and make use of any hesitation, lack of confidence, or prior knowledge. It means intentional, congruent, sustainable action as your only option—the result of authentic, reasonable, honest introspection combined with equitable, responsible investment, along with discerning, and curious evaluation.