There are times in life when you feel that something is missing. If you are sensitive or in tune with change, you will notice this familiar feeling whenever seasons change. The high stress, whether positive or negative, that comes with moving, end of a relationship, or birth of a child can also put you in a contemplative mindset. You may ask the question, “What is missing?” The more enlightened question is, “Who am I becoming?”
Answering the Inferior Question
What’s missing is the difference between who you are and who you know you can be. A suitable analogy can be found in nutrition. If you are only eating donuts and soda, you live, but you lack the vitamins and minerals you require for optimum health.
When you hang only with people who are pretending or people who are at your level or lower, you lack the interaction and insight it takes to see opportunity and seize that opportunity. Your relationships and interactions keep you in a cycle of work for pleasure, and pleasure to offset the stress of work. Another option does exist.
The Solution is Becoming
The solution has three simple components. The challenge in the solution is that it is a discipline—a daily practice of mindfulness. Through this discipline, you consciously (influencing your total consciousness) replace the “missing feeling” with impermanence. Replace the unyielding pursuit with contentment. Replace “becoming as being successful” with “becoming as considering the network of all people.”
I offer 3 steps as you prepare to Become—to see things as they really are.
Make a plan with the support of people who have been where you are and who see. You know seers because they always make you think. They challenge your simplistic perceptions and common knowledge and cause you to think more deeply and more holistically. This is not the search for the perfect person, but commitment to engage with people who are progressing. The support is the focus. The plan is necessary, but secondary.
- Trust the plan because it will seem foreign to you. It feels strange because you have not been at that level yet. You will have immediate restrictions placed upon you. You may have to fast, leaving sugar, alcohol, and sensual pursuits for a period of time. But, the clarity you seek is elusive and easily lost in self-deception and distraction. Indeed, it is easier to live with “missing” than it is for some to discipline themselves to see and fully exist. The trust is the focus. It endures in legacy. The plan is fleeting as a guide that adjusts to new information.
- Work the plan. Because success is the only option. Yet, success is truly letting go. Practice letting go of the tension and insistence of daily life. Now, do it without the help of intoxicants or other aids. Return to that discipline daily, and eventually live in that discipline each moment. Work, not as grasping to hang on, but work as releasing from the pursuit of material things. The work is not to build as legacy, but to climb toward an uncluttered vantage point. The enduring legacy is what you share of view.
Exercise: Click on the picture above of the single individual standing looking into the vastness. Picture the figure as you. Imagine your thoughts as you stand at that high vantage point. Feel the light produced by the expanse of stars.
Now, consider that the stars, innumerable, are your opportunities. Feel them as light that helps you see, not as pressure that overwhelms. Breathe in light. Breathe out pressure.